Do you and your Pre-teen have Conflicting Tastes in Dressing?

It's a classic situation for a mom/dad and the growing-independent child to not get along when it comes to dressing.

Once in a while you may see a parent-tween tandem in the store all pouty and tense. Reason: Conflicting tastes in choice of dress. A parent may be scandalized with the dress the tween chose. The dress could be inappropriate for the age of the child, or just plain "skanky". Child, on the other hand, just wants to fit in with the peer group. So mommy's horns and tween's horns lock in at the store, a major quarrel brewing up for home a little later, all because of a dress.

A tween's main concern is fitting in with the crowd. Tweens are also concerned not to be skanky. Your tween would not want that for herself too, so it is up to you and your excellent diplomatic skills to guide her well.

What to do?

First, look also at what her age group is wearing. Look at a LOT of kids, and see patterns in what they are wearing. Note the cute and okay ones, even if the look is new to you.

Then, before going to the store, set rules. Rules for length, what body parts are exposed, etc. Be considerate in setting the rules, based on how you studied the other kids' clothes.

Let her choose her clothes based on the rules. Only speak out when the rules are violated.
If you yourself are having a hard time approving, maybe a tip to remember is : "Would I let another person's child wear this?" If you answered yes, most likely it is okay to wear and you may be just having issues with your child's changing taste and ways. Just maybe. Something to think about.

There. Hope these help, and hope you and your tween have a peaceful time shopping.


If you can't stand the drama of choosing clothes in a public place, you can always shop online with your child for girl's dresses.